So What?

Breakfast Club gives me a few minutes with the girls every morning… a chance to “flesh out” the Four Fold Philosophy of camp. The past couple of days have been focusing on Physical Growth- such simple life principles as eating well and getting exercise every day. These points are drilled into the girls at home and from the government as well (The Obama family has been very good on this message, I give them full credit). This very “conventional” message can be like water on a duck’s back to the girls. I see it in their eyes and feel it in my heart as well. Sure it’s a good principle but “So What”? Today I attempted a more difficult task: to flesh out the deeper message of Physical Growth.

Today I asked the girls to consider how they “present” themselves to the world. The clothes we wear (and why) and the pictures we put online (and why). Ours is a culture with an almost pornographic spirit. Our children (every age group represented at camp and then some) are “told” by the popular culture that they can be “grown up” if they just push the boundaries of dress. We see this at camp and are dismayed. This is an all girls camp. We should be able to wear normal active clothing and not make a big deal about the particular choices… but even here, this can be a real struggle. Thus our “dress codes” that present a very basic standard of modesty. We do this for two reasons: There are boys at camp and It is good for the girls to learn the habit of choosing appropriate clothing.

We started a “One Piece Bathing Suit” rule 15 years ago for just this reason. Two piece bathing suits were becoming a contest of vulgarity with the girls. We would send campers back to their cabins to change, only to find the replacement suit was worse than the original. We were becoming bathing suit police (an impossible job), so we banned them entirely and have not had a problem since.

Do you find this amazing? I bet you don’t… I bet you have these same struggles at home. The thing I love best about our children’s school is the dress code. That argument just disappears, Praise the Lord.

So Breakfast Club asked the girls to consider the question: How Do You Want Others To See You? The question has two parts: the clothes we wear and the pictures we choose to represent ourselves online. Unless they “buy into” the argument, what we tell them to do will not have any impact.

My argument is helped by the fact that my own daughters are in the audience and I DEEPLY want them to understand. This conversation is hard to have at home, for home is not as transparent emotionally as camp. WHAT? Yes, camp is a more emotionally transparent environment than Margaret and I provide at home. Deep Conversations are more frequent at camp than any other place I have ever been. The weeks spent here build a foundation of trust and simple honesty that lead to relationships without walls. In this setting, a heart message has impact.

I didn’t have a lot of words, but did have a lot of emotion as I asked the girls to not buy into the sense that some clothing choices present the world a vulger, cheap, and negative image. Such choices never lead to good outcomes, and the impact on their lives can be ruinous.

I also touched on the online profiles we present to the world. Of particular emphasis was the trend of instagram “Beauty Contests” where girls put a number of pictures of “friends” on a wall and other girls (and boys) “vote” positive or negative on each photo. The comments are often vicious and hurtful. As the negative votes come in, girls are eliminated from the contest with a big X over their face. It is a terrible thing. Awful… My suggestion was to NEVER participate in such a contest. Unfriend ANYONE who starts one. Be the strong girl who stops such hurtful behavior, don’t ignore it.

My encouragement to you is to not buy into the idea that our children have to dress provocatively in order to be fashionable. Be willing to have family standards that give the girls the rational behind the rules. Encourage them to voice the other side of the coin and hear the underlying validity of their need to “fit in”. Point them to their ultimate place in Christ and His love of them which is not dependent but is unconditional. A love that knew us before we were born and intended us to be just the way that we are. It is a huge concept, life transforming at every level.

It is raining again… SURPRISE!!! The good news is that Monday currently has a 30% chance of rain versus the 50% we have had all week long. As the week goes on, it should get even sunnier (reducing to a 10% chance of rain by Friday). Joy of Joys… we might have a sunny week after all!

Thank you for supporting this community. Tonight will be our second Council Fire, with any luck we will be in the Council Fire Ring in the woods. Surrounded by the towering pines we speak of “important things” and recognize growth in the girls with patches. The highlight of the night is when the temporary honor council is “tapped” to serve… the oldest girls in camp who have proven over the years a solid ability to live unselfishly and represent the “Code” of Sincerity, Courage, Honesty, Kindness, and Truth. A wonderful thing.

Thanks again for reading.

Jimboy

THE JOKE: A couple of cowboys are riding on the range in the deep desert when they fall off their horses. As they are hiking out of the desolate heat, they spot a single tree on the horizon! They walk toward it in hope of salvation and as they get closer they see that the tree is covered in strips of sizzling bacon! A BACON TREE!!! They start running toward the tree with great joy, one cowboy running faster than the other gets there first. Just as he reached toward the tasty bacon, he was shot in the side by a gun!!! The injured cowboy waves and shouts to his friend: RUN AWAY… IT IS NOT A BACON TREE; IT IS A HAM-BUSH!